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Friday, June 30, 2006

As a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, so must you become Derelicte!

I got my hair did last night by Derelicte. And now I am really-really-ridiculously-good looking.

It's so nice to be able to trust your stylist and to grant him unbridled creative license. Derelicte practically has a Doctorate from Matrix! I gotta give Derrick a plug, but I'm not so sure I want to pass out too many more referrals---afterall, dude is very affordable and he always schedules me in at the last minute.

Amy and I used to get $4 haircuts at the MTSU Barber College. We were seriously poor.

Here's to being able to finally afford a good color and cut!

Blue Steel, ya'll!

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Dr. McEyeCandy

I've not been in a blogging mood much lately. I'm not really sure what's behind my blogging funk. I think I must be on burn out. I'm on vacation all next week and I think the mental anticipation is contributing to my sluggishness.

Anyway, I went to the eye doctor yesterday. I recently ran out of contacts and it's been almost three years since I've been to the eye doctor, so I decided it was about time. It was by far the most intensive eye exam I've ever had. I didn't mind though-- the intern (who still introduced himself as a doctor) was incredibly good looking. Incredibly. But a gal doesn't get her hopes up in a situation like this... I mean, the environment is sort of sterile to be called "the dating scene."

Dr. McEyeCandy and I made great conversation from the beginning. I wowed him with my witty sense of humor. I could tell he was trying to impress me with his doctorly knowledge. Things progressed even to the point that he asked if I had any big plans for the 4th of July. We had chemistry here (Did you feel it? I felt it. Alright Janice!). I don't know if I was imagining things, but he seemed interested. But maybe I was the interested one and manipulating the experience in my head.

Either way, I couldn't bring myself to give him my business card or phone number. I thought, what if he has a girlfriend or what if I was totally misreading his flirtatious behavior---would he broadcast to his office that one of his patients hit on him? I don't want to see lifted eyebrows from the receptionists every time I walk in for an eye appointment. You know the look: "she's that girl!"

Lucky me, I've got a follow-up appointment in two weeks! People, I need some feedback on how I should handle this!

At some point during the visit (I couldn't tell you when because I was otherwise intrigued), they dilated my pupils for the exam. I left the office with pupils the size of nickels. I felt like an old lady driving to work because I was afraid to go above 55 mph on the interstate---with the combination of the sunlight and blurred vision I could barely drive! I made it to work finally and wore my sunglasses inside. My computer screen was a little bright for comfort.

What can I say---I'm a bit of a goofball...

One last thing before I go back to surfing the WWW...

My officemate, Jason, sits down to eat his Burger King chicken patty sandwich this afternoon. He unwraps it and as he is about to take a bite, he notices there is a rather large, bite-like chunk of meat already absent from the chicken patty. He tells me that he's suspicious that his chicken patty has already been enjoyed by someone else. We had several good laughs at this one...

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Breaking News!

This just in...

NASHVILLE, Tenn.--Southside singleton, Sarah Scott, has just launched a new blog, "The Truth About Goldilocks," aimed to document her life quest, for herself and for future generations.

"I regret leaving the first quarter-century of my life largely undocumented other than through photographs and the sporadic journal entry," Scott said.

In the past, Scott has relied on her exceptional memory skills and intellectual prowess to make important life connections, identify recurring ideas and recall lessons learned.

"I have an uncanny ability to recall everything from the most mundane of details to the most significant of happenings throughout nearly 23 years of existence, my first memory being breaking my leg at age one-and-a-half," Scott said. "But I’ve begun to recognize that while my memory is good it is not perfect. It’s even more upsetting to recognize that I am slowly losing this precious gift."

Scott hopes to utilize her new blog as a journal, a record of feelings, findings and daily activities.

"A realization of a lifetime love for words, a need for distraction from some of life's recent dramas and peer pressure, all contribute to why I created 'The Truth About Goldilocks,'" Scott said. "So here I am, for better or worse. But y’all, I’m excited, oh, so excited about starting!"

Visit "The Truth About Goldilocks" at www.aboutgoldilocks.blogspot.com


The Afternoon-Commute Scenery

I've often waxed poetic about my love for my afternoon commute. It averages 15 minutes and traffic moves at a steady pace. But there's another reason I love my afternoon commute---the scenery.

I was driving home yesterday, waiting at the stop light on the Shelby Street Bridge. I look up, and there are two young Hispanic girls, crammed in the back of a mini-SUV, grinning and waving to me. It caught me a bit off guard, because at the time, I was going over the mental list of all of the errands I needed to run and things I needed to accomplish this evening. But I immediately broke out into a grin of my own and waved back. This caused the girls to giggle even more and continue waving. I followed them through the 24-40 split and gave them one last wave as I sped on. It totally made my day.

And to think that my drive home was only just beginning...

Somewhere between Harding Place and Old Hickory Boulevard, I was driving along, talking on the phone, and spotted a sight that prompted me to bust out in loud HA-HA's. Between gasps of laughter, I told the person I was talking to I'd have to call them back. I yanked out my camera, for the second time on my commute home, and moved in for the picture.

After photographic acquisition of the moment, I called my friend back (because they were a bit concerned at why I hurriedly hung up on them), and could not begin to control my laughter to tell them what I had just witnessed.

I considered posting this to TAR, but did not want it to be interpreted wrongly. Seriously though, this is all kinds of hilarious.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


Three random thoughts and highlights of my day today:

1) My office is an a loft-like area and is not air-conditioned well. Today, our thermostat read 81 degrees, yet the air was on full blast. It was hot, but not unbearably, when you exercise minimal movement in an office chair. My officemate, Jason, walks upstairs, looks at me and says, "it's so hot up here that you have beads of sweat on your face." Now---sweating is not very feminine and certainly not while I'm at work. So I was appalled that he would think I was sweating. Not to mention that I wasn't sweating. I said, "but I'm not sweating?!" And he says, "maybe not sweat, but your face is shiny." Nice. Yes, I have oily skin. And I've tried every product under the sun to combat that oiliness, including Bare Escentuals Mineral Veil, which seems to work pretty darn well---or so I thought.

Men really will say the first thing that pops into their head, won't they! I can't be mad at him, though...

2) If I ever have to hear that Daniel Powter song, "Bad Day" again, I'm going to vom and then proceed to shrivel up into a mass of deterioration. I severely dislike (because the word "hate" still seems a bit harsh) this song and the whiny voice of the man that sings it. To quote another freakishly-weird-yet-famous Powter, "stop the insanity!"

3) I had dinner tonight with my childhood/teenhood friend, Brittany. We ate at Zoe's Kitchen and the meal was lovely. The place has a mediterranean feel, and almost everything on the menu, much to my excitement, is accompanied by feta cheese. Brittany is an old friend that I don't see enough, and she's one in my plethora of fabulous single friends that leave me wondering why we're all still single. Anyway, Brittany, if you're reading, I had a wonderful time catching up!

Monday, June 19, 2006


It's a common misconception that swimming comes second-nature to a dog. At least not to Stella the puppa. Let me re-phrase that--- Stella can swim, but Stella is a bit cautious about swimming.

Mom and I took Stella to her first swimming lesson on Sunday afternoon. Our across-the-street neighbors, are an older couple with four children: two are grown and have their own families and the other two are two Labrador Retrievers, Peekaboo and Penny. The couple purchased the house primarily for the pool. They needed somewhere to allow their two dogs to swim in the summertime. These dogs will swim for hours in the pool, jumping off the diving board, scavenging for toys at the bottom of the pool, and going down the pool slide.

Mr. Mike invited Stella over to swim with the dogs on Sunday afternoon. Stella loved this idea and jumped at the chance to frolick around with some canine companions. Peekaboo and Penny are older dogs and weren't as amused by Stella's antics.

After Stella initially realized she was physically able to swim, she took off in a mad tear around the pool area, running as fast as she could. She was so excited that she took a flying leap into the pool. I think she must have been under the impression that the water in the shallow end was as deep as it is on the pool steps...needless to say, she sank like a brick, but popped up just as quickly, scrambling to the steps to get out. From this point forward, she was a bit more cautious, but she seemed to really like the water. I think it's only a matter of time until she becomes a regular water baby!

After pool-time, Stella had a bath...

Friday, June 16, 2006

Welcome Summer

I saw my first lightning bug last night when I went to check my mailbox. For those of you who aren't from the South, a lightning bug is a firefly. I have very many happy memories of my brother and I, armed with bug boxes and bare feet, chasing lightning bugs at dusk in the backyard. It always involved a competition of who could catch the most, and if you know me at all, you know that I always won.

I like the way lightning bugs make your hands smell. It's a pungent, bittery odor, but it smells like summer. I miss summer nights at home, sitting on the deck with the family, eating Fla-Vor-Ice and Otter Pops, and then emitting coughs due to the generous concentration of high fructose corn syrup. We would literally sit there for hours and laugh, mostly at Mom, because we would normally gang up on her. My family has always shown love by making fun of the other members. This probably explains a lot about me.

By nightfall, we'd watch the deer emerge from the treeline at the top of the hill. They'd slowly and cautiously work their way down the hill, with one eye on our late golden retriever, Molly, and one eye on the damp grass that was their feast. Molly would roam around the yard, oblivious to the deer standing 15 feet away from her.

While it doesn't officially begin until June 21, summer began for me last night upon sight of that lighting bug.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The Shinkta is Bananas

Last week was a lot of fun on a lot of levels and I don't really even know where to begin. Our trade show was very relaxed in nature and afforded me many an opportunity to socialize and create some oh-we-won't-go-there moments with some of my favorite co-workers.

MA & Marlina at InfoComm 2006

From time-to-time, I will choose a word or a phrase from my ever-expanding vocabulary, to beat to death. My word of the week this time was "shinkta," compliments of Emily. Now, I'm not sure how you actually spell shinkta and I'm also not really sure what it means. At the time, I thought it was a Romanian curse word, but was informed by Emily that she has no idea either. Nevertheless, I used it as my token curse word for the week, inserting it into every conversation, when appropriate, and creating variants, such as "shinktiferous." By the end of the week, I had the majority of our staff shouting shinkta right alongside me.

Tina picked me up at the convention center on Friday evening for my weekend with the O'Connells in Tampa. I was SO excited to see her and infuse some sanity back into my life. And she even got to meet a coworker of mine, who has been the subject of a running joke between the Menagerie.

Tina and I drove to Tampa and met Patrick back at the house. Turning into their road, there is a giant pond, where an alligator resides. He must of known I was visiting, because his head and back poked just above the water so I could see him.

Tina and Patrick's new home is simply lovely. I don't know how it's possible to turn a Florida home into anything but a cool, beach bungalow, but Tina and Patrick managed otherwise. Immediately when you walk in, you feel a sense of warmth and coziness. Needless to say, their home is very hospitable. I also met their house tree frog that lives just above their front door, as well as a lizard family that likes to climb up the screens of their outdoor patio.

Friday night, we hurried to get ready for dinner, as we had reservations at Colombia, in Ybor City. Colombia is Florida's oldest Spanish restaurant, and there's good reason it's stuck around since 1905. The food is traditional Spanish with a Cuban twist. I had grilled mahi-mahi with yuca rice and plantanos and mojo. But the best part of the meal was the house Sangria--the three of us split a pitcher and there wasn't a drop left by the time our meal was finished.

Saturday morning, Tina and I went to her Yogilates (Yoga-Pilates) class at Namaste Yoga Studio. I had so much fun that I've found a new hobby. Tina's instructor, Stephanie, was so good at her job. She's challenging, but encouraging. I will be looking into Nashville options, to take a class or two, very soon.

After we stuffed our faces with Sonic extra-long cheese Coney's, we headed back to the house and recruited Patrick to the pool. Because Florida was (up until this weekend) in a bit of a drought, it was very, very hot, but minus the suffocating humidity. We swam until pruny and then got ready for an evening in downtown Tampa.

We had reservations at Timpano Chop House & Martini Bar for later in the evening, so we stopped off at Anthropologie, the shabby chic mecca of goods and one of my all-time favorite stores to visit, that I only hope Nashville could acquire someday. Unfortunately, my pocketbook didn't meet the requirements for a purchase, but it was nice to look around anyway. We spent a little more time shopping around the trendy and urban Hyde Park area.

The three of us had a little time to wait for our table when we arrived at Timpano, so Tina and I took advantage of their full martini list. I had a Hollywood Martini, some kind of pineapple and blackberry concoction and Tina's martini tasted delightfully like grape koolaid. We finally got seated and ordered quickly. I had the Shrimp Fra Diablo, with fettucine, tossed with goat cheese, pine nuts and spinach in a rosa sauce. It was excellent.

We had some funny moments at Timpano that evening. The restaurant was very crowded and busy, and our waiter, Vitali, was running around, all over the place, like a chicken with his head cut off. Evidently, he was in such a hurry, that he spilled an entire glass of red wine on the two women sitting right beside us, as well as himself. I overheard Vitali, between profuse apologies, offer to retrieve a Shout wipe for the woman.

Now---because of my extensive knowledge of the science of stains, I knew that a Shout wipe, ideal for greasy stains, would not be best to combat the damage of red wine on a white shirt. I had in my purse, a tool that would almost instantly make those red wine stains disappear. So, I grabbed my purse, whipped out my Tide Pen, tapped the woman on the shoulder, and promptly offered her some peace of mind. Of course, the woman didn't know how to use one---so I had to instruct her. "It's easy, like you're using a paint pen," I said. Tina made some comments about how I'm a stain expert because I've been known to host a side salad on my boob shelf. I'll claim the dork award for the evening, but it sure does feel good to help someone out.

As if the night could get any funnier--- Vitali walks back over to our table with a divine assortment of tiny desserts, all made in shot glasses. As Vitali is enlightening us on the sugary possibilities, Patrick, in his excitement, waves his hand across the table and sends his water goblet flying through the air and all over Tina. We all burst out laughing and Patrick says to Vitali, "man, you're rubbin' off on me!"

I finally got home from Tampa at about 11 p.m. Sunday night and I was exhausted. I'm thankful to have such good friends in Tina and Patrick and can't wait until I see them again in August!

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

Until we meet again...

Hello Queen MAB Faithful,

I am leaving for Orlando this morning on a week-long, work-related trip, then spending the weekend visiting my good friends, Tina and Patrick, at their new house in Tampa. I'll be back next Monday to attend to my blogging realm. In the meantime, you can keep yourself busy reading any of the blogs on my "blogroll." I only link to the best! Have a good one!


Queen MAB

Monday, June 5, 2006

Ursher's got an outie!

A couple of stories and musings from my Saturday...

I go to the pool at my apartment complex on Saturday morning, bright and early. I sit down in a chair and over to my right, two chairs away, is an older gentleman, of his early 70s. I'm a little creeped out by him because I can feel him staring at me, but I just ignore it.

About a half an hour later, Lana joins me and sits down in the chair between the older man and I. Lana is excited about her new furniture and she proceeds to whip out two color copies to show me. While she's talking about it, the man asks to see the furniture. He then engages Lana in an hour-long discussion of furniture. In the meantime, Rhonda arrives and sits down on the other side of me, giving me a look like, "why in the world is Lana talking to this dude?!"

Rhonda had a hot date Friday night and Lana and I want details. Rhonda begins to tell us, when she looks up and realizes that the old man is listening to our conversation. Rhonda says to us loudly, "I'm not going to talk anymore about my date last night because others are listening to our conversation." You'd think the old guy would take a hint, but of course, he didn't.

He continues talking intermittently to Lana about selecting a mattress (I kept waiting for him to offer test-drive the mattress with Lana) while Rhonda and I laugh. Even the two ladies on the other side of Rhonda are laughing at this point. Lana doesn't seem to realize that this guy is hitting on her and keeps shooting us dirty looks for laughing at the situation. At one point, Lana says, "he's just lonely. I like old people and he just wants someone to talk to..."

What Rhonda and I were waiting for finally happens: out of the blue, old man says to us, "do yall ever go to the Bunganut Pig?" After our mumbles of "no," he says, "It's this cool club/bar and they have live music. I'm going there tonight. Would..."

And before he can finish, Lana's phone rings and she picks it up and talks on it for a half an hour, long enough for the old man to get the point, collect his belongings and exit the pool area. Rhonda starts to hum, "It's alright cause I'm saved by the bell!"

As soon as Lana gets off the phone, we hound her about her naivete. I ask Lana, "did you get his name and phone number?" and she says, "no, but he did tell me that he'd got divorced two years ago..." Hi-larious!

Saturday night, I went to the Sounds game and was reminded of how much I love the sport of baseball. It's been a long, long time since I've been to a Sounds game or even been to Greer Stadium. I'm so very excited about our new ballpark, especially since Greer looked like it may collapse at any given moment.

TAR moments were bountiful, but there was so much TAR abomination, that I just couldn't allow myself to make fun of that many people. Lana and I decided we should write a book that people could read on "how to dress for your body type" and "how to dress like a normal human being and still not spend a lot of money." I know not everyone in this world is all about fashion, but come on----I saw waaaaaaayyyyyy too many people wearing clothing that didn't fit them. It's not rocket science. And it doesn't cost much to wear classic clothing made for your body type... A reminder of my personal mantra: know your limits!

We also saw the Sounds Usher with a ginormous outie bellybutton (second time sighting for Emily). Seriously, his outie must have been the size of a silver dollar. Lana says, "do you think his beer gut pushed his bellybutton out like what happens with a pregnant woman?" Amanda says, "Ursher's got an outie!"

While waiting in line for tickets and looking around at the people inside the Stadium, I was reminded of how many HOT single guys are still out there! Now if they would just decide to come to church so I could meet them....

The Sounds host a gigantic fireworks show (referred to as 'Reworks," don't ask me why) on Friday and Saturday nights. I was wholly impressed! The fireworks show itself was worth the price of admission! They cut every light in the Stadium and then light up the sky for at least 5-10 minutes.

I can't think of a better or more romantic date night activity. Seriously. My husband better love baseball...

Sunday, June 4, 2006

The Crazy Eight & a Beachin' Good Time

Lucky for you and unlucky for me, I'm finally back from the beach. The weather was glorious and good times were had by all. The re-cap is long, but I guarantee some laughs down the page...

"The Crazy Eight," Amanda, Emily, Rhonda, Lana, Sarah, Lisa, Mandy and myself, piled in two rental cars on Friday to make the trip down to Seagrove Beach, FL for Memorial Day weekend. I lucked out and was presented with a brand spankin' new Pontiac G6 (which I still think is a piece of tool) from the rental company, while Amanda got stuck with a Toyota Carolla. Now, as a Nissan gal and a fan of foreign made cars, I'm all about me some Toyota, but Amanda's car was minus the cruise control and giddy-up the G6 boasted. Plus, my car was just sportier...

As we were leaving, Em presented both cars with the "Florida Booty Mix of 06" and Amanda gave us a "Tootsie's Mix" so we could rock-n-roll all the way to the beach. It's a yearly tradition for Emily to assume the role of "surprise DJ," and she really outdid herself this year, with 19 bootylicious songs. And Amanda's mix succeeded as a shout-out to Jared Ashley and all of those honky-tonk crooners. I must say, the gals are trying to convert me into a hard-core country music fan, and it's starting to work...

You give these girls music and you're guaranteed to witness some crazy dancin' and singin'. Case in point, we're listening to Em's cd and "Dontcha" by the Pussycat Dolls comes up for play. Appropriately, Sarah personifies Tom Jones-sings-PC-Dolls and wails out a rendition of "Dontcha," as if she were headlining Vegas.

We had a few TAR moments among us on the way down to Birmingham. One of the funniest was passing by this gentleman riding in the back of a truck. We also waved hi to the Boobie Bungalow, just off the interstate. Sarah coined a new term for TAR, referring to high-class TAR as "tis wrong."

Our destination Friday night was Birmingham, to spend the night with Ann Wade (she has a double first name like I do!), Emily's childhood best friend. Ann Wade and her roommate were incredibly hospitable for us eight crazy gals for the evening. We had some good laughs when we gave a man friend of ours a nickname prefix of "Awkward-****". We also made fun of Amanda for confusing Arkansas, the state where Ann Wade's roomy is from, with Ark-Kansas, like she thought it was a city or something. The most hilarious quote of the evening came from Lana (of course). Lana says aloud, "I brought three pajama shirts because I'm not sure which one I'll feel like wearing..."

In anticipation of our early rise in the morning, we all headed to bed. Amanda and I are in two twin beds in one of the bedrooms, and every light is off in Ann Wade's house except the kitchen light. I can clearly see the light from my bed and I realize that Rhonda is walking around in the kitchen. I shout out, "Rhonda, what the hell are you doing in there?" Amanda and I burst out laughing as Rhonda rushes our room and says that she was on the phone with her new lover. She wants to show Amanda and I photos of him and so Amanda comes over and climbs in my bed and Rhonda soon joins us. For some reason, we started taking candid pictures of ourselves in the dark and we could not stop laughing at how they were turning out. One of the last pictures we took bore an image of Amanda, with her bangs flapping mid-air. I said it looked like "cock hair." Hi-larious. I really should get Rhonda to send me that pic so I can post it here.

We set out for Florida at 6 a.m. on Saturday morning. Emily had the foresight to give each car a walkie-talkie, and *some* of us (I won't name names), had a bit of trouble operating their walkie-tallkies. At one point, Lana, in exasperation, says into the walkie-talkie, "We can't understand yall on your Rocky-Toppies!" And Lana was totally serious... However, we did enjoy listening to other travelers' conversations when our "Rocky-Toppies" intercepted their signal.

This past winter, myself, Lisa, Sarah and Lana were at the Sorority House (aka Lisa/Sarah's apt.) and we're looking at some photos of the fun times we'd had over the summer, before we'd met Mandy. At one point, Lana looks at Mandy, points to a photo and says, "If you play your cards right, this could be you. Just insert your head here." That hilarious conversation was brought up again during the drive down, when Lana officially welcomed Mandy into the fold.

The Crazy Eight finally made it down to Seagrove, and were in awe pulling into our penthouse condo. The three bedroom/three bathroom villa was immaculate and luxurious. In short, this place was pimped out! We didn't tarry in the condo though---the beach was waiting!

There's a reason why they call the Emerald Coast, the "Emerald Coast." The sugar-white sand contrasted brightly with the turquoise-green ocean. The sky was cerulean blue and not a cloud was in sight. The weather was simply perfect. We slathered on sunscreen and settled in for some sun and waves. Seaweed was a bit of a problem the first day. We began to refer to it as "sea snot." But if you swam a few yards past the seaweed, into the ocean, you could see the bottom.

After a long day spent at the beach, we were ravenous for some fresh seafood (well most of us were). We hopped in the car and drove down to Grayton Beach to eat at Red Bar, this fabulous local restaurant with a kitschy atmosphere. Red Bar is owned by the same folks as The 3-Thirty-1, a favorite restaurant/club destination of ours last year. Red Bar has a seasonal menu, boasting seven delectable dishes from which to choose. I had the shrimp pasta, and was blown away by how fresh the seafood tasted. It was seriously some of the best shrimp I've ever eaten. A few of the gals had the Swordfish steaks and it was amazing as well. Our meal, at 10 p.m., was definitely worth the two hour wait.

Amanda, MA, Lana, Lisa
Rhonda, Mandy, Emily, Sarah

On the second day, we pirated some empty beach-chair-rentals and focused on major relaxation. Nearing the end of the day, we began to get a little camera-funny and took some "Zoolander" and model shots, none of which will appear on my blog!

I managed to get a lot of sun, but for the most part, didn't burn too badly. I tried a continuous spray sunscreen that I loved, but it lasted for only 1.5 applications before it ran out. And it was expensive. I'm figuring out that my favorite sunscreen is Hawaiian Tropic Oil-Free Faces Sunblock SPF 30. I've used this sunscreen for several years, and the more I use it, the more I love it. Not only is it oil-free (doesn't clog my pores) and PABA free (doesn't sting my skin), but it contains a reflective complex that looks shimmery when applied, and actually cools my body because it reflects/refracts the sun away from me. This stuff works, I promise. And it comes with a built-in mirror so you can look at your beautiful self all day long.

Speaking of sunscreen, a few of us are getting ready to go out to the beach on Sunday morning. I asked Lana to apply sunscreen to my back and she made the comment, that whomever did it on Saturday applied the sunscreen too conservatively. I said, well that was Amanda, and Emily piped up and says, "Well that's about the only conservative thing about Amanda!" We burst out laughing! When word got back to Amanda later, the conversation was even funnier.

One of my favorite times this weekend was when several of us were swimming in the ocean and we started singing "My God is so BIG, so strong and so mighty. There's nothing my God cannot do!" It's such an honor to be able to enjoy God's glorious creation!

Lana, Lisa, MA, Emily
Sarah, Amanda, Mandy, Rhonda

Sunday evening, we got an earlier start, but were still ravenously hungry. We had a brief dance party before we left the condo, deciding we would drive toward Panama City for dinner. We needed to make a grocery run at the Publix before we were to eat dinner. One car of gals went in for the bounty while Lana, myself, Sarah and Mandy cranked the music in the parking lot. We told Lana that we wanted to get out and dance, but she wouldn't let us and locked the doors.

Herein lies the funniest moment of our holiday weekend: Mandy says, we'll just stick our feet out of the windows then. I look around the backseat and see Mandy's foot out the window. And Sarah quickly follows suit. But before I realize what's happening, Sarah has wormed both of her legs out the window, torso following. She sure did "Dukes of Hazzard" out of the backseat window of the G6, in a short skirt, no less. As the music is booming, we are all in fits of laughter! Sarah finally gets her composure outside the car and realizes that a group of vacationing women in their mid-forties have seen the whole incident. They are laughing as well, but you can tell by the looks we're getting that they think we're nuts. Lana gives up on the car door locks at that point, and we're all dancing around the car. The women (and other grocery store patrons) are pointing, laughing, and throwing strange looks at us. Sarah and I look at each other and at the same time, say "they must have their own TAR website!"

We finally loaded up the car again and headed across the street to Bayou Bill's Seafood. Half the gang put our names in for a table, while the rest of us headed to the Winn-Dixie package store to acquire the appropriate ingredients for some late-night margaritas. As we are purchasing the tequila, the lady looks at us and asks for our ID's. Mandy says that her ID is in the car and asks if she needs to go get it. The lady at the counter says, "No, they're the two that look like they're not over 18! (pointing to me and Sarah). Well, of course, Sarah and I burst out laughing---primarily because Mandy is a Shorty McShorterson, even more so than myself and Sarah. If anyone looks like they are just barely 18, it's Mandy.

Our car joins the rest of the gals at Bayou Bill's and after a short wait, we finally get our table. We lucked out with a patient waitress, who knew to how to keep us happy with a full basket of hushpuppies. Our table was a little loud and we got some looks from other patrons, but we're just here to have the MOST fun, right!?

The gals packed up the car, after some last-ditch pool/beach time and shopping in Seaside, and hit the road for home. Our first stop was a Subway in a podunk town. The Subway didn't have a paved parking lot---it was red clay. We walked in the door and the first thing we noticed was the heat. The air conditioner was broken. One of the patrons asked the Subway employee, "Are they working on the air?" and the employee just mumbled "no" with a blank stare. While Em and Lana waited in line (because the so-called sandwich makers were as slow as Christmas), Mandy and I headed back to the bathroom. I got to the door first and turned the knob, slinging the door wide open. I got one foot inside the bathroom door and I looked up and there was another Subway employee, um, mid-wipe. In shock, I shut the door and turned around to Mandy with a horrified look on my face. We both burst out laughing and went back to line to wait some more on our food. Emily and Lana had not moved up in the line, because there was this woman who ordered a footlong with everything and your mom. Seriously. I sang, "This is the sub that never ends..."

Em and I had a humorous afternoon talk as we're traveling back to Tennessee. At one point, she laughs and says, "Guys are all wrong when they think girls don't talk about sex or potty humor." And her statement is incredibly true.

The caravan finally hits Abalama, yes Abalama, and we make a pit stop in another po-dunk town outside of Montgomery. The gas station we stop at is an old country store, with a restaurant serving barbeque. The place is packed with locals, eating in the middle of the restaurant in rickety booths. We all go stand in line inside the bathroom and are waiting our turn, when the "sock lady" arrives. This woman walks into the bathroom and she's in her sock feet. One sock has twisted itself so the dirty bottom and the heel are on top. She's wearing dark sunglasses. Nasty. Em can testify that she experienced the "sock lady's" legacy... At least we left the country store with something fun---glass bottles of coke and a renewed sense of Southern Americana!

Spring Break 2006 was the MOST fun! Remember to stop by the Diva Domain and Oreos and Milk, to read their own re-caps of Spring Break 2006.

Thursday, June 1, 2006

Blogger's Bad Day

Dear Queen MAB Readers,

Blogger has been a bit ornery the past 48 hours. I have a post-beach recap ready, but it's minus the appropriate photos. As soon as Blogger decides it would like to cooperate again, I will post and all will be well with the world.

Thank you for your patience.


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