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Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Botticelli would be proud.

Have you ever been reconciled to something and then someone comes along and reminds of your flaw, thus inducing self-loathing and all that goes with it? That happened to me this evening.

Late this afternoon, I drove to Murfreesboro to meet with the dress alterationist for my first fitting of my bridesmaids dress for Ben and Brittany's wedding. I expected straight pins, small talk, and a large bill, but I didn't expect what came next.

Basically, she made a very rude comment about my body---one that was not necessarily intended to be rude, but nonetheless, incredibly disrespectful and hurtful---and not to mention, completely unsolicited. I was minding my own business in my dress, thinking about packing for Europe, when I was reminded bluntly that I'm not a size 2 like the other skinny bridesmaids, and I had to have the most alterations because of my breast/waist/hip size.

I wanted to slap this woman, and then collapse in a heap and cry. Instead, I smiled politely, and then changed the subject.

Thing is, I don't look in the mirror and hate myself. Granted, I deal with body image issues, but overall, I choose to love me. And I realize that I can't compare myself to other people--because there's always going to be someone prettier, smarter, etc.

Recently, a good friend of mine made a comment about her body and how she is struggling with her self-image right now. To be honest, I was rather shocked to hear her say this. My friend is so beautiful and has the cutest little figure. And, she's an incredibly hip and trendy dresser---she's one of the few people I know that could compete with the ladies of Sex and the City. And she was questioning her self-worth???

When I was in Chicago last summer, Amanda and I visited the Art Institute of Chicago. Wandering around, I happened upon this bronze sculpture of a Rubenesque woman, created by a man---Gaston Lachaise. I thought she was magnificent and I couldn't take my eyes off of her. What do you think?

They say perception is 9/10 of the law. I'm a fox, dammit.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Saving it for later.

Let's be real---I'm busy right now. I could bore you with the details of how taxed I feel, but instead I'll treat you to some old-fashioned mortification.

Last night, I arrived home and trudged upstairs to my bedroom at about 10 p.m. to go to bed. I began to take off my clothes (no, this is not that kind of story) and walked into my bathroom. I had taken off my shirt, and still had my pants on. As I walked in front of the mirror, I realized that there was something hanging out of the back of my pants. A second glance revealed that it was a two foot piece of toilet paper floating in the breeze.

My mouth fell open and I immediately burst out laughing. All by myself. Just me and the toilet paper.

Of course, this brings up many questions. The toilet paper was unused (blessed assurance!) but how in the hell did it get there??? My only conclusion is that it was leftover from a previous visit to the latrine, where I papered the seat before I perched. It must've gotten caught in my pants when I pulled them up. And what's even more disconcerting is that there's no telling who all saw this or how long it had been hanging around. Your guess is as good as mine.

Evidently, I'm so tired that I can't even be bothered to properly dispose of my toilet paper. For those of you that require my time, services, skills, etc. in the next couple of days---I give you permission to reconsider.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Happy Belated Blog

Once upon a time, I had a life. Seven days ago, I had a life. Tonight, I am sitting on the couch, watching High School Musical with my current roommate, Amy, and my future roommate, Emily.

Last Saturday was my 27th birthday. And for the second year in a row, my friends managed to remove me from the drama and show me a good time. They tended to my love language of quality time and I felt so loved and full of joy.

Our evening began with a wine tasting at Arrington Vineyards, Kix Brooks winery in Arrington, TN. It was cold and windy, but incredibly crisp. We stationed ourselves with a large tray of cheese, fruit and crackers by a roaring fire pit full of freshly chopped cedar. The winery called five of us in at a time and showcased their twelve locally made wines. After several bottles, several hours and a lot of cheese, we headed to Cool Springs to have dinner at Basil Asian Bistro.

Emily made me a homemade strawberry cake with strawberry cream cheese icing. And it had green writing. It was simply lovely and it tasted delightful. Among the gifts of my friends presence, I received some amazing presents---like a gift certificate for art lessons, a magazine subscription voucher which I'm using to order Bon Appetit, hand-crafted notecards, beautiful crystal earrings, pre-paid card for London Fogs, and some authentic tea flown in specially from Seattle.

I have the best friends. Don't mess.

Arrington Vineyards

Emily, Natalie, Amy, MA, Stephanie, Lana, Molly, Courtney, Siebe

Nat representing Rhonda and Joe

Hadley & Amy - Colorado Girls

There's something about Courtney

The Knox Girls -- Emily, Autumn, MA & Amy

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Mary Anna: The Movie

Never, would I have ever, thought that two simple boxes would yield such sadness, irony and amusement. Tonight, I learned that someone that should care, doesn't, and someone that shouldn't care, does.

After this realization, tears and an attempt to nap some of the shock of it off, I walked downstairs and told Amy what happened. She laughed while I sobbed. And I laughed with her too. It's funny. And incredibly disappointing, all at the same time. And oh, the irony. The irony.

Amy commented that "this" is something that would happen in a movie about a single girl. I sarcastically replied that if my life is a romantic comedy, then surely I'm supposed to stumble upon my Prince Charming in the next scene. And by stumble, I mean something creative and awkward like knocking over the canned goods at the grocery store, or getting stuck in the revolving doors at the bookstore. And then he will appear and help me up from the pile of canned artichokes and we'll ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.

You all should consider yourself lucky. Movies nowadays cost upwards of nine bucks. Folks, this movie is free.

Monday, April 7, 2008

A Mile of someone else's shoes

Not that it's important... But, have you ever wondered why the interstate seems to be a magnet for abandoned shoes?

I was driving home from church yesterday, and in the middle of the road was a brand-spanking-white, new high-top Nike sneaker. It was a really nice basketball shoe, and probably included some sort of bubble, pump, or MJ AIR logo, as most Nike basketball shoes do. It was just sitting there, all lonely, wondering why its owner had chosen abandonment.

So, what is this all about? I vividly remember recently seeing a pair of black spike heels resting on the shoulder of the interstate, and wondering the same thing.

I've been traveling Tennessee backroads, city stretches, highways, and interstates for almost 27 years now. And never, not once, not ever, have I lost one or more of my footgear to a concrete thoroughfare. Granted, I don't drive or ride with my feet hanging out the window (mind you, people do this!)...

Anyone care to shed some light on this? Has this ever happened to you (spotting a stray shoe, not losing one---if you've lost one, I don't think you want me to know about it, lest I call you "white trash")?

Saturday, April 5, 2008

The Daily Coyote

I have fallen in love with a coyote, and you can too: Click HERE.

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