Saving it for later.

Let's be real---I'm busy right now. I could bore you with the details of how taxed I feel, but instead I'll treat you to some old-fashioned mortification.

Last night, I arrived home and trudged upstairs to my bedroom at about 10 p.m. to go to bed. I began to take off my clothes (no, this is not that kind of story) and walked into my bathroom. I had taken off my shirt, and still had my pants on. As I walked in front of the mirror, I realized that there was something hanging out of the back of my pants. A second glance revealed that it was a two foot piece of toilet paper floating in the breeze.

My mouth fell open and I immediately burst out laughing. All by myself. Just me and the toilet paper.

Of course, this brings up many questions. The toilet paper was unused (blessed assurance!) but how in the hell did it get there??? My only conclusion is that it was leftover from a previous visit to the latrine, where I papered the seat before I perched. It must've gotten caught in my pants when I pulled them up. And what's even more disconcerting is that there's no telling who all saw this or how long it had been hanging around. Your guess is as good as mine.

Evidently, I'm so tired that I can't even be bothered to properly dispose of my toilet paper. For those of you that require my time, services, skills, etc. in the next couple of days---I give you permission to reconsider.