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Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Because I'm not getting laid, a.k.a. why birthdays are important to the Single girl.

A birthday is an incredibly important day in a single girl's life. At no other time of the year is the single girl celebrated. There aren't any perks that come with an anniversary, and you certainly don't get any lovin' on Valentine's Day. And those random acts of kindness that your significant other does for you throughout the rest of the year---you know, "flowers just 'cause" or "special date night" or "whatever-the-hell-people-in-love-do-for-each-other-that-I-wouldn't-know-about-because-I've-been-single-for-so-freaking-long"---the single girl misses out on all of that. As Carrie Bradshaw would say, when you're single, you get "bubkes." The only chance I have for any sort of action (that'd be attention) is my birthday. One shot. One opportunity.

The further I journey into my twenties as a singleton, the more I realize that my parents, my brother, my extended family, my got-married-straight-out-of-college friends (not all are included, mind you) and many of my married co-workers look at my life in puzzlement. Quite simply, they don't get me, nor do they get any of my other single friends. In their eyes, we are the rejects of society that couldn't manage to snag a mate, and therefore, we must be dying to spend all of our time catering to their desires and fulfilling their requests. And what else more important would I have to do with my time???

I love it when preachy comments are made to me about "real responsibility" and "the burdens of marriage and family." Please. We make choices in life, and we live with the consequences---both good and bad. Marriage and raising a family is very hard and very important, and I don't make light of that. But I don't know of any happily married couples with kids that would give it all up just to be single again. They may envy my "freedom" for a few minutes, but no way would they go back. And lest we forget that marriage is a choice, and so is sex, and the use of contraception in sex.

Singles are constantly making sacrifices for non-single parties and their life choices. I have no problem with this. I am happy to re-arrange my plans if I can help out or if I am needed or wanted. I want to be there for the people in my life that I love and that I care deeply about.

But, where do I draw the line? Once, just one day of the year, I would like a "get out of jail free card." And that day is my birthday. I don't expect for anyone in my life to roll out the red carpet---but I do expect them to make an attempt to understand why my birthday is so important to me. And it would be nice if they respected that I'd like to spend my birthday celebrating my own life choices, not theirs. Laissez-faire, already.


Blogger Kristen said...

Did someone suggest you hold your birthday party at Chucky Cheese?

If so...psh! on them. Have fun on your day.

12:36 PM

Blogger TBSE said...

i stinkin love you- i love this blog- i love that though the topic of singleness is often discussed, here is a refreshing outpouring of original and insightful sentiments. Here's the deal as I see it. Singleness defines our identity... it is societally pervasive. Church, work, home, crisis, or holiday we are essentially alone. Yes, we manage to overcome the one-dimensional definition of singleness and live full lives, replete with meaning, and with knowledge of our worth and value in Christ, but that is simply due to the measure of grace and patience God has given us, it does not take away the basic desire for companionship, intimacy or a helpmate. On any given day I WANT to be married. And it's not just a handful of us gals whining. For the first time in history there are more single American women than married women. There are more single mothers in America than ever before. Statistically people are waiting longer and longer to get married. Why has this epidemic of singleness occurred in our generation? How then shall we live? I for one will keep praying for Godliness in my own life and trust that God has a plan. I assure you He knows how to tell time and how to bring about His will to fulfillment for those who earnestly seek Him. Thanks for the honesty MAB. i love livin with you! the roomie

4:13 PM

Blogger thesciencegirl said...

Yes, yes, and yes. I feel ya girl.

1:42 PM

Blogger Courtney said...

I'm so excited that I can actually read your blog. It's so amazing not to have to copy to words and paste them into Word.

I have your birthday in my calendar! Oh and just for the record don't set your hopes too high for V-day and your anniversary. Plus when you're married it's just like buying something for yourself. So go ahead, buy what YOU really want now. It's the same when you're married.

8:02 PM


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