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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

It's a small world afterall...

This town is too small. I love Nashville with all my heart and soul, but my recent trip to Chicago left me longing for a bit of anonymity from my rock star lifestyle here (BTW, Chicago post coming soon). I know too many people. And too many people know me.

If I can be as non-specific as possible, I have a book signing scheduled with a major Christian author in one my Nashville-metro L-way locations. In making some investigative phone calls to determine the point-person at said major Christian author's publishing house, I was referred to a woman by which I am already acquainted. In September of 2005, I was interviewed by this woman for a position within her organization, and received a sort of "kiss off" response in return. While I'd like to think that I'm not still bitter, it continues to bother me that she was so snooty about a position for which I was overqualified. So, when I heard hear name today, I was oddly satisfied. I'll call her and remind her of how we're acquainted, and I'll take great satisfaction knowing that I'm in a better job. Not that I'm delighting in evil or anything...

That wasn't the only reunion of the day. I went to the eye doctor today for my annual eye exam. Yes, you can imagine where this is going... I walk in, take a seat, and pick up a tattered copy of People magazine, staple waiting room reading. I'm cool, calm and collected, not thinking a thing about Dr. McEyeCandy and the brief interludes we shared. Afterall, he completed his internship months and months ago, and is safely tucked away in Memphfrica. Out of sight, out of mind (pun intended).

All of a sudden, a tall, attractive man with a nice collared shirt and tie, walks out of the back of the office and moves behind the front reception desk. I glance up and freeze in shock---guess who? As my face is turning four shades of purple, I peek out behind my People (which is propped conspicuously in front of my crimson countenance), and make eye contact with him. At this point, I have no choice but to acknowledge his presence, and sheepishly smile. He waves, and says hi, and asks how I've been doing. Who knows what I said. I was rather flustered. He's still really hot. Then, as quickly as he appeared, he grabbed a chart and disappeared. I was praying that he didn't grab mine...

Still attempting to regain my composure and dying to call Sarah Scott, I got called back to my eye exam by one of the assistants. She completed my exam, my doctor came by to do his checks, and then it was over. I walked out to the front desk for my bill, and with dilated pupils, noticed three sets of business cards atop the counter. One bore the name of my own doctor. One bore the name of my doctor's partner. And the other bore the name of my doctor's newest partner----Dr. McEyeCandy. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee's baaaaaaaaaaack! Total mortification. I have to find a new eye doctor now...

It's been about eight months since I visited his MySpace page, and tonight I learned that he has indeed graduated, moved permanently to Nashville, and made partner at my eye doctor's office. I also learned that he is still with his girlfriend, and they're probably getting married soon because she's finished optometry school and is moving to Nashville, and then they'll have a bunch of babies that will become some other girl's eye candy, and the cycle continues. I missed the boat on that one. How depressing. Did I mention how good he looked today?

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Bright Lights, Windy City

In a little under 24 hours, Amanda and I will depart for the Windy City for a weekend full of the B's. I'll be back next week, hopefully with two bobbleheads in tow--that'd be Zambrano and Serious Brown. I'm serious. Seriously.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

True to Form

I can't help it. I notice things like misspelled words and misplaced punctuation. So you can imagine my dismay this week when I noticed erratum in my favorite dictionary. Leave it to Serious Brown to find the one transgression in the vocabulary bible.

Merriam-Webster, you should be ashamed. It's coffeehouse, not coffehouse.

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Out-of-Office Reply

Last week, I emailed a friend (who shall remain nameless because I'm about to make fun of her), and promptly received a kickback from her own email. It was her out-of-office reply message. Instead of a generic response attributing her absence to vacation or official company business, she said she would be out because of her best friend's wedding.

Now, this got me thinking (and snickering). What if we were always honest and explicit in our explanation of office absence? It left me asking, a) would anyone care, and b) is it appropriate?

I attempted to explore this notion with a few faux, yet entirely plausible, out-of-office replies:

I am out of the office Tuesday, July 26 because I'm having a colonoscopy. My bowels are inflamed.

I am out of the office Tuesday, July 26 because my dog died. After three surgeries, the doctor's pronounce him dead. Join with me in mourning Sparky's passing.

I am out of the office Tuesday, July 26 because I'm taking a mental health day. Today I plan to get a manicure and pluck my eyebrows. I'd also like to water my plants and catch up on my reading---I've got a stack of Woman's World Weekly requiring my attention.

Seriously. What if?

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