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Monday, June 5, 2006

Ursher's got an outie!

A couple of stories and musings from my Saturday...

I go to the pool at my apartment complex on Saturday morning, bright and early. I sit down in a chair and over to my right, two chairs away, is an older gentleman, of his early 70s. I'm a little creeped out by him because I can feel him staring at me, but I just ignore it.

About a half an hour later, Lana joins me and sits down in the chair between the older man and I. Lana is excited about her new furniture and she proceeds to whip out two color copies to show me. While she's talking about it, the man asks to see the furniture. He then engages Lana in an hour-long discussion of furniture. In the meantime, Rhonda arrives and sits down on the other side of me, giving me a look like, "why in the world is Lana talking to this dude?!"

Rhonda had a hot date Friday night and Lana and I want details. Rhonda begins to tell us, when she looks up and realizes that the old man is listening to our conversation. Rhonda says to us loudly, "I'm not going to talk anymore about my date last night because others are listening to our conversation." You'd think the old guy would take a hint, but of course, he didn't.

He continues talking intermittently to Lana about selecting a mattress (I kept waiting for him to offer test-drive the mattress with Lana) while Rhonda and I laugh. Even the two ladies on the other side of Rhonda are laughing at this point. Lana doesn't seem to realize that this guy is hitting on her and keeps shooting us dirty looks for laughing at the situation. At one point, Lana says, "he's just lonely. I like old people and he just wants someone to talk to..."

What Rhonda and I were waiting for finally happens: out of the blue, old man says to us, "do yall ever go to the Bunganut Pig?" After our mumbles of "no," he says, "It's this cool club/bar and they have live music. I'm going there tonight. Would..."

And before he can finish, Lana's phone rings and she picks it up and talks on it for a half an hour, long enough for the old man to get the point, collect his belongings and exit the pool area. Rhonda starts to hum, "It's alright cause I'm saved by the bell!"

As soon as Lana gets off the phone, we hound her about her naivete. I ask Lana, "did you get his name and phone number?" and she says, "no, but he did tell me that he'd got divorced two years ago..." Hi-larious!

Saturday night, I went to the Sounds game and was reminded of how much I love the sport of baseball. It's been a long, long time since I've been to a Sounds game or even been to Greer Stadium. I'm so very excited about our new ballpark, especially since Greer looked like it may collapse at any given moment.

TAR moments were bountiful, but there was so much TAR abomination, that I just couldn't allow myself to make fun of that many people. Lana and I decided we should write a book that people could read on "how to dress for your body type" and "how to dress like a normal human being and still not spend a lot of money." I know not everyone in this world is all about fashion, but come on----I saw waaaaaaayyyyyy too many people wearing clothing that didn't fit them. It's not rocket science. And it doesn't cost much to wear classic clothing made for your body type... A reminder of my personal mantra: know your limits!

We also saw the Sounds Usher with a ginormous outie bellybutton (second time sighting for Emily). Seriously, his outie must have been the size of a silver dollar. Lana says, "do you think his beer gut pushed his bellybutton out like what happens with a pregnant woman?" Amanda says, "Ursher's got an outie!"

While waiting in line for tickets and looking around at the people inside the Stadium, I was reminded of how many HOT single guys are still out there! Now if they would just decide to come to church so I could meet them....

The Sounds host a gigantic fireworks show (referred to as 'Reworks," don't ask me why) on Friday and Saturday nights. I was wholly impressed! The fireworks show itself was worth the price of admission! They cut every light in the Stadium and then light up the sky for at least 5-10 minutes.

I can't think of a better or more romantic date night activity. Seriously. My husband better love baseball...


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