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Wednesday, May 17, 2006

What is the "real world" anyway???

I'm going to rant today.

Why does achieving marriage and children equal adulthood???

TWICE in the past week, has an "adult" said to me, "things are different when you get married and have children." One of them told me that I don't even live in the "real world" because I'm not married and I don't have children.

What happens if I NEVER GET MARRIED!?!? Am I destined to be treated like a child who doesn't know "real world responsibility" forever??? Geez, I feel like a teenager again!

Do these "adults" realize how condescending or hurtful they are by making these comments?

I just made a visit to Amazon.com where I promptly ordered Boundaries and the Boundaries Workbook. I've been putting this off for way too long...


Blogger jackie said...

being an adult doesnt mean having kids and a husband. nor does having kids and a husband mean you're an adult. The people who tell you this have a very warped idea of adulthood. To me, being an adult means you make mature decisions based on YOUR worldview, and no one else's. Being financially independent, or being on your way to becoming independent (i.e., not relying on daddy's money all the time).
its being comfortable in who you are.

I hear ya though. Im going to yet another wedding of a close college friend this summer, and another good friend from college is pregnant. When I hear news of these events, it still feels like a looming cloud over me, like a ticking clock, but I just have to tell myself that Im good the way I am, and I have a path thats unique to me, and my life will unfold the way it will when the time is right. theres no rush. women have kids much, much later in life than they did 30 years ago. but this was EXTREMELY hard for me to handle a couple years ago, the year when I was invited to 9 weddings of close friends. But I just had to get used to it (that sounds bad) and for me it just took time to realize that my life is my own, and doesnt have to fit any type of mold.

hang in there!

6:41 PM

Blogger Amanda said...

I second that Jackie! You are every bit a "real adult" MA. In the times that others put you down for circumstances beyond your control, focus on the positive aspects of being single- trips to Vegas, the beach, & the mountains for starters! You are an amazing woman of God- now we just need to put ourselves out there so the men have a chance of finding us!

8:55 AM

Blogger emilyb said...

PS - There is no "real world". Everyone has their own perspective. And it certainly does NOT require a husband and kids. Sheesh...

MA - You are seriously one of most mature, loving, faithful, encouraging, wise people (friends) I know.

10:26 AM

Blogger Kristen said...

Boundaries is really good, yep. BTW, all you can do in situations like that is ignore the dorkheads.

5:56 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

if "adults" are the ones saying these things, i don't wanna be one anyway. "adult" is a state of mind. so is boredom, routine, etc. your life is what you make of it, as is your perspective, and the only "opinion" you really have to worry about is God's and He already loves you (and so do i, but my opinion isn't as important). : )

9:20 AM


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