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Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Reality Biteth

Who the heck knows who reads my blog. I know there are a bunch of silent lurkers out there, whether they be family (hi Mom), close friends, acquaintances, or strangers, and even ex-boyfriends. The proverbial struggle of a blogger is to be transparent with her readers, but safeguard her heart. Maybe I just don't care tonight because I've had a bad day....

Lately, I've got the baby bug. That's really scary to say out loud, especially to all of you. I mean, I don't want a baby today, tomorrow, or next week---I'd just like to know that maybe I'm on the baby track. First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Serious Brown, Jr. in a baby carriage...

Why do I feel the need to justify that emotion? Can't I say that out loud without adopting a label of "desperation," "self-pity," and "lameness?" It's quite possibly my own insecurities creating this perception of myself, but even this admittance doesn't take away the doubts about my aging ovaries or my lack of viable prospects.

I am going to be such a good wife and mother someday. It kind of feels like a waste of talent in the meantime. I do domesticity so well.

You'll say, "it will happen for you, Mary Anna." Will it really? Can you say that with certainty? I'm not a glass-half-empty kinda gal, but seriously...reality bites...


Anonymous Katie said...

I have no words of comfort or certainty for you but, I can tell you that you are indeed a fabulous woman who will definitely make a very lucky guy extremely happy someday. I know that God's going to take care of you and he's given you all your domestic talents for a reason. Who knows, you could be the next Martha Stewart...minus the jail time!

9:03 AM

Blogger Kristen said...

I think the world (or maybe just the men of Tennessee) is crazy if you don't end up married with kids one of these days. And by the way, nothing wrong with those kind of feelings. I think most women experience them, but many think it's a weakness to admit needing or wanting anything that is seemingly out of their immediate grasp.

9:06 AM

Blogger Mary Anna said...

Or maybe with the jail time... See "Flugtag Phalange" for supportive evidence. I may not be on the wife/mother track, but I'm definitely on the hardened criminal track...

And thanks girls. I love yall.

9:13 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Whenever I start to feel that way about wanting a baby, I remind myself that they grow up to be really annoying teenagers. It makes me feel better. But seriously, we are only 26, we all need to relax. It will happen in God's own time!

4:20 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

MAB--your ovaries are still spring chickens, promise! Our kids can grow up together, and our friends' kids can babysit our little demons. I love you, and I can't make any promises. I do know that you will make an amazing wife and mother. I don't think God would let that go to waste. :)

Love you...Tina

7:28 AM

Blogger Mommy, Esquire said...

If you can read my blog and not have that bug exterminated then it is meant to be and will happen when it's s'posed to! Seriously. Seriously.

Can't wait to read your blog one day when the name changes to the Queen Mommy Manifesto. In the meantime, enjoy your sleep!

9:34 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...


6:35 PM

Blogger lauren said...

Ive secretly felt that way a lot. I feel like Im so behind too, still being in school and trying to further my career. My friends from undergrad are mostly all married and are in the throes of having babies. I wonder if I'll ever have one.

2:26 PM


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