Can I have a refill, please?

Despite just walking in the door of my apartment--dropping my gigantic purse, stack of mail, and new job booty in the middle of the living room floor, neglecting to kick off my heels that are painfully grinding into the balls of my feet, and having to go to the bathroom really bad--I went straight to Kip to punch out this post.

I L-O-V-E my new job. And I haven't even officially started *working* yet. Today was my first of two days of HR orientation. They served-up the kool-aid, and I've been drinking myself silly all day long.

I can't wax ecstatic enough about my experience today, from the efficiency and organization, to the benefits package, to the people, to the resources, and on and on. And again, I've not even begun the fun part--the actual job. I am so excited and appreciative to have the opportunity to work for L-Way.

One of my spiritual gifts is faith. In the past, God has used this spiritual gift to present me with "no-brainer-style" opportunities. When I needed something, it came along. And the timing and circumstances were always perfect and worked out beautifully. My first job out of college was at Adtec, offered to me on the Monday-after-the-Friday I moved home for the summer. I had just quit my full time retail job at Linens-N-Things in Murfreesboro, and was facing unemployment and parental supervision. Adtec was the first place I'd ever sent my resume, and it was my first post-college job interview. In addition, the job responsibilities were the same as my major, Public Relations. God provided, and the timing was exceptional.

Most of you know that my most recent job search wasn't as smooth. In fact, for the balance of time that I've known many of my "Franklin Friends," I've been looking for a new job: Amanda, Emily, Rhonda, Lana, Sarah, Mandy, Natalie, Katie, Amy, Siebe, and many more of you. Sarah jokes that my job search is one of the first things she remembers when she thinks about when we met. For the past two years, my introductory conversations usually began with, "I'm Mary Anna Brown. It's nice to meet you. I do PR for a technology company in Nashville called Adtec--but I'm currently seeking alternative employment. *laugh-laugh-chuckle-chuckle*"

Much of my time and thoughts were spent in looking for a new job, networking, praying, crying, whining, complaining, attempts at optimism, and feelings of apathy. I always knew that God would provide in due time, but after awhile, I began to think of my job search as a facet of "who I am," rather than "what I do." Not only did I become numb to the whole process, but I began to think of it as a reflection of my skills and talents, and as a task I had failed to accomplish.

Throughout the journey, several doors were opened for me. I went on numerous interviews and was even offered a job that I ultimately turned down after a tulmultuous decision-making process. At the time, the job offer was a glimmer of light in my fruitless search, but sold me short in salary and responsibility. I knew I was capable of more, worth more, but would I dare to be picky when I had been searching (and whining to my friends and family) for so long?

Ultimately, I didn't take that job. I questioned why God would open a door that wasn't the door He wanted me to walk through, and I didn't really have my answer until today. As I said before, faith is one of my spiritual gifts--and God was building on top of His already established "faith foundation" in my soul. No doubt, I had faith that God would provide me with a job--but I didn't understand why it wasn't easy like before. My spiritual immaturity wanted God to drop a new job out of the sky, into my lap, easily eliminating any sort of inconvenience or obstacle.

Today, I realized that God wanted me to practice discernment with my faith. The job offer forced me to step out of my comfort zone and decline the easy way out. It wasn't enough to be safe in my faith. While I felt at peace about turning down the position, I didn't know if there would be something else out there for me. The unsettlement around this job offer was an impetus to completely surrender my comfortability to God, and He issued a challenge to my faith in order for it to grow. I'm learning that faith doesn't mean that my wants and desires are guaranteed--but it does mean that God will supply all of my needs in His perfect way. And it's a bonus when my met needs administer to my wants and desires. God's a pretty cool guy for gently aligning my heart with His plan.

Hebrews 11 of God's Word is widely known as the "faith chapter." Verse by verse, the different displays of faith by Godly men and women are recorded. If I were to add a verse to this chapter about myself, it might go something like this:

"By faith, Mary Anna, when her job search looked bleak, continued to trust with assurance and expectation of the Lord's uniquely designed and intricately timed plan for her life."

Make no mistake, my new job at L-way will be accompanied by good days and bad days, ups and downs. But I know now why God tempered my faith. He is refining my soul like silver, and I am completely humbled and honored by His love.

"This third I will bring into the fire; I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, 'They are my people,' and they will say, 'The LORD is our God.' "

Zechariah 13:9