The Girl Who Cried Josh Turner

Today after church, me and my gangle of gal pals, trekked over to the CB for some country-fried love. You may think I'm referring to country-fried love in the form of Cracker Barrel's pecan pancakes, sawmill grits, or even chicken-n-dumplins. But, alas, I'm not. Today, the country-fried love was none other than handsome crooner, Josh Turner.

The six of us (Mandy, Emily, Sarah, Amanda, Amy and myself) are tucked amongst CB kitsch, namely the obscenely large display of dancing Easter bunnies, chirping chickadees, and resin painted eggs that were surely made by some 5-year-old in a Taiwanese sweatshop. A moment later, Mandy gasps and mumbles under her breath that Josh Turner, his wife, and his new baby are hovering in the corner, not ten feet from us. After we all sneak sly (and might I add, lustful) glances in his direction, we ponder ways we can get him to notice us.

Several weeks ago, a bunch of us went to see Josh Turner perform at the GEC, and we got a little nuts in our affections for him. I won't name any names, but many air kisses were exchanged, and some may have even given Josh a little peeksy at their goodies. So, during this Josh sighting today, we began to reminisce of our night out.

"Josh, do you remember me? I'm the one that you blew a kiss to the other night?"

"Josh, remember the girls? They sure do remember you..."

The banter continued to the table. Shortly after we are seated, Natalie arrives. When she is informed of Josh's presence in the lobby of the restaurant, she immediately begins to hyperventilate. Since moving from Texas several months ago, Nat has yet to see a real live Nashville celebrity (except for the Tanya Tucker look-a-like she saw at the airport). After a quick visit to the lobby, Natalie returns star-struck.

Thirty minutes later, we are still talking about Josh Turner and the imaginary conversations we'd have if any of us had the guts to actually approach him and proclaim undying love. Natalie wonders aloud if those in leadership positions receive enough positive feedback, and mentions she'd like to go tell Josh how fabulous he really is. We ask her what she'd say to him, and she says she would write it down first. Amanda lifts up her hand, as if she's written her "crib notes," and begins to read from her hand:

"Hi Josh. I really think you are awe [BREAK]

"some. Would you like to be my fri [BREAK]

end?"

We are obviously amused. Someone says, "what if they sat Josh at the table next to us?" We joke a bit about how his hotness would distract us from our cornbread, and I secretly elbow Emily, indicating for her to play along with my little prank. Amanda and Amy are turned away from the main walkway, and Natalie to the side. I gasp aloud, "ohmygosh, here he comes..." Nat freezes, Amanda goes white, and Amy's eyes get big. Em and I burst out laughing as I declare that it was a joke. She says, "in a few minutes, he really will walk right through and no one will believe you." I say, "ya, I'm the girl who cried Josh Turner."

Ba-dum-dum!