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Thursday, December 14, 2006

The Hunt

I only have a few weeks left before the big day. No, I'm not talking about Christmas. I'm referring to New Year's Day, the day that I unleash a new boxed calendar, poised to sit atop my desk at work for the remainder of 2007.

The quest for the perfect desk calendar is of paramount importance. Two out of the past three years, I've had a bum calendar. Not only does a desk calendar set the mood for the entire year, but it aims to deliver happiness, during an otherwise bleak day in corporate America.

At the beginning of my first full calendar year of employment at Adtec, the year 2004, I purchased a Mary Engelbreit desk calendar. Throughout the year, I was pleased with my purchase, as it provided uplifting quotes and an abundance of heartwarming illustrations. The amount of joy this calendar brought me solidified the need for and importance of a desk calendar to enhance the office experience.

In 2005, a coworker gave me a desk calendar of misspellings, misquotes, misprints, etc. found in publications, heard on television or radio, and on public signage. Considering my journalistic background, one might think I really liked this desk calendar. Wrong! It's intent was for humor, but only approximately one in 50 days of the calender succeeded. If you do the math, that's only 7.3 days the entire year that enduced laughter. Each day, I would physically whine, boo, and hiss at the poor attempts at humor, and it got to the point where my lame calendar was the butt of many of my officemate's jokes.

After a year of depressive calendar humor, I was a bit apprehensive about experimentation. I needed something safe and dependable for 2006. I purchased another Mary Engelbreit desk calendar, ready to renew my spirit and encourage inspiration. I guess I got what I paid for, because the 2006 ME calendar was almost identical to the 2004 ME calendar. Sure, the illustrations were marked for different dates, and occasionally, there would be a new quotation or cartoon, but for the most part, it was exactly the same calendar. You can imagine my disappointment. And believe me, my calendar snafus did not go unnoticed by my officemate, using the opportunity to once again, make my calendar the subject of a long-running joke.

I'm resolved to make 2007 different and the stakes are high. I spent some time on Calendars.com and was able to narrow my calendar search to a list of six choices. I need your help in making a decision. Below is a synopsis of each calendar, and my argument for its inclusion on my desk at work. Please provide me with your choice in the comment section. Or, if you'd like to recommend a calendar not listed, please do so. Here they are, in random order:

Forgotten English presents arcane, archaic words related to vanished professions, objects, activities, customs, and states of mind and body. In addition, obscure fĂȘtes and festivals, notable birthdays and anniversaries, and dubious medical, hygienic, and culinary procedures are also noted. A learned but lighthearted lexicon is essential reading for the collector of long-lost language. I'm intriqued by this calendar because of my love of all things vocab.

Wild Words from Wild Women features well-known female athletes, politicians, entertainers, and humanitarians. The women dish on everything from men to motherhood to martinis, focusing on vice, rather than virtue. Constantly seeking wisdom from strong women, this calendar will provide me with a daily dose of femmie power.

Would You Rather...? asks hilarious questions created to perplex, provoke, and amuse, placing you between the rockiest of rocks and the hardest of hard places. Consider mind-blowing dilemmas in the areas of curses, sex, fantasies, deaths, tortures, and more. Over the course of time, I've played the games "what would you do if..." and "would you still be my friend if..." with many of you. Games like this express my wacky-quirky side. If nothing else, this calendar would provide some interesting blog fodder...

Latin Phrase-a-Day provides amusing and incisive quips and quotations from the mother of the Romance languages. Each is followed by a phonetic rendering of the phrase and its English translation. In my quest to further familiarize myself with this ancient language, this calendar will allow me to "crescat scientia vita excolatur."

The Bad Girl's Rage-a-Day offers daily tips and tricks for getting out of dud dates, making home beauty shrines, and inspiration from notorious Bad Girls of history. Sometimes I need an excuse to cater to my inner brat, and this calendar may be the perfect stumbling block. I actually purchased this calendar last year as a gift for Amanda, so any primary source input from her is appreciated.

Wacky Websites leads to zany, intriguing and entertaining WWW destinations. My unhealthy obsession with the Internet, combined with my penchant for random factoids, can finally be satisfied. This calendar will feed my addiction.


Blogger Sarah said...

My choice is clear: it's gotta be the "Would you rather" calendario!! I mean, seriously, how can you ever go wrong with this?

Would you rather be known as the girl with the funny desk calendar that encouraged coworkers to drop in on said desk, promoting laughter and good cheer to all who participate in its whimsical fun-ness and general get-to-know you kind of provocative questions, or would you rather be boring? The choice is yours.

Of course, I'm not entirely opposed to the others. It's just I've made my choice and now I've gotta stick to it.

P.S. Remember that time I had a blog of my own?!Color me bad.

2:11 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have the Would You Rather book and it has a ton of nasty incest questions, so I would actually dissuade you from that one.

I like the Bad Girl's Guide line... that would be a funny one. They all sound pretty good though. :)

I don't buy desk calendars, not having a desk.. but I usually buy 2 wall calendars because I can never choose just one. I often get a Dr. Seuss calendar and either a nature calendar (like Greenpeace) or one with pictures of a place I want to visit (like Italy). One year, my sister gave me a calendar from Chik-Fil-A full of cow superheroes. It was awesome!


2:46 PM

Blogger Amanda said...

If you're wanting to steer clear of any office-inappropriate calendars (like incest questions) you may also want to skip the Bad Girl's Guide calendar. While I did enjoy this calendar from the comforts of my own home, it wasn't something I could display here at work, as the Bad Girl was obviously not a Christian! ha ha

I might go with the tamer, but uplifting Wild Words from Wild Women if a daily dose of encouragement is what you're going for. However, my German phrase a day calendar has been quite the hit this year in my own place of employment, so perhaps the Latin phrase one could prove to be entertaining. (At least there wouldn't be anyone around to correct your pronunciation!)

10:11 AM

Blogger Kristen said...

Yeah, I'm sticking with my one-Orlando-Bloom-fantasy-a-day calendar. Heh-heh.

Today's: "No, Orlando, I will not make out with you. I am a married woman! Yes, I know I am your dream woman, but you must learn to live without me."

12:10 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

i've got 2 cents, so i will throw them in. i agree with bradley on the bad girl calendar, not work safe at all (but i work at LifeWay, so nothing is safe). i would say that the wild women is going to be very similar, b/c i had one just like that. they were either very boring or way too ris-kay (hehe, spelling is fun). my choice (although not a popular one) would be the forgotten english one. i think it sounds interesting and very safe and could be a fun way to learn about phrases that we use all the time, but don't know why. ok, thas it, thas all.

8:58 AM

Anonymous Calendar Club said...

Thanks for mentioning the Calendar Club, but I have to say getting funny calendars each year is always a great way to go! :-)

1:57 PM


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