Good Fences Make Good Neighbors

Life is particularly hectic these days, and I really have no one to blame but myself. You see, I have this problem. It's called "failing to set boundaries," and it's finally caught up with me.

My psyche likes the frenzy. I thrive in situations where I can wax decisive in pressured situations and administer my organizational skills to provide an efficient environment. It's no surprise, nor is it a secret, that I'm a card-carrying "Type A."

But this time, I think I bit off more than I can chew.

I'm slowly learning to set boundaries with the people in my life, including family, friends, co-workers, and social acquaintances. But the more I learn, the more I realize people don't like it when I set boundaries. Maybe they aren't accustomed to me saying "no." The reactions are mixed. Some are angry, some are disappointed, and some even pout. Perhaps I should be flattered that I'm needed, but I must stop the cycle of allowing people to suck me dry---even when I realize their intentions are good. Who was it that first said "the road to hell is paved with good intentions"?

This past Wednesday night, I arrived to church about an hour and a half early. Needing some time to mentally prepare myself for the 8th grade girls Lifegroup I was about to lead, I walked into the 2,500 person sanctuary, and sat down near the back. It only took me a second to realize I was the only person in the massive room. It was a bit eerie, and so quiet that my own rustling made me very aware of the impressive acoustics.

Settling in for the next hour, I tried to remember the last time I was in a quiet place without distraction. The experience was foreign to me, as it had been a long time since I'd been still before the Lord. Even during those times of "faux silence," like in the car alone, or in my apartment, there are always distractions. Normally they appear in the form of the radio, television, a book or magazine. And while he means well, my little Bastard Cat Jack always seems to waller his way into my lap whenever I attempt to have some still moments.

For an hour that Wednesday night, I had no distractions. I almost didn't know what to do with myself. But I slowly let the Lord's gift of peace wash over me, and was still for the first time in a long time.

I'm ashamed at my delinquency in posting to my blog, because it's my primary creative outlet of expression. I miss it. I miss a lot of the things in my life I once enjoyed when I had more personal time. It's time to draw a line in the sand. No means no.